Hitler Accused of Performing Autistic Salute at Trump Rally

Not cool, Adolf! That’s what many online commenters are saying in response to Führer Adolf Hitler, who this week has been accused of performing an Autistic salute at President Trump’s inauguration.

“It’s clearly meant as some kind of neurodivergent dog whistle,” said @beiyu255 on the website currently known as Twitter. “Whilst it may look innocuous to your average American, it’s actually intended as a signal for far-neurodivergent, neo-Autistic militant groups. It means ‘I love computers, and could name one hundred kinds of dinosaur as a child.

“I mean, what else could it be? He’s stood there, hailing a new authoritarian government that intends to ban books and illegally incarcerate certain ethnic and national groups. A clenched fist to the heart into a palm-down, straight-armed gesture can only mean one thing in this fraught political climate: the classic uncoordinated gawkishness that absolutely all Autistic people exhibit at all times.”

Hitler was keen to downplay the inflammatory gesture, calling it a “Roman salute, you know, like the Romans did, and then the Nazis and the Blackshirts did because the Romans had done it and it’s a Fascist trope to emulate Imperial Rome. It was just a simple, un-controversial Roman salute, as made famous by the Nazis, who likewise did it in an un-controversial and bipartisan way.”

The explanation didn’t seem to wash with some critics, namely 53-year-old neurodivergent gamer Elon Musk, who tweeted: “My culture is not just a cool gesture. You might as well put on a country’s national dress and do a crazy accent.

“This is stolen neurodivergent valour. You can’t just do this weird gesture that we’ve all unanimously agreed to be the sort of maladroit physical inelegance that is typical of all Autistic people, and think you’re one of us.

“Well you’re not one of us. We’re a community of ungainly klutzes who were probably trying to make the classic My heart goes out to you in a face-down, open-palm, hold it for a second and then FUCKING DO IT AGAIN AT A FLAG WHICH NOBODY EVER WOULD NEED TO MAKE A ‘MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU’ GESTURE AT gesture that we all know and love, or probably we don’t even understand what it means, even though we’re big-brain geniuses who are thinking about something you wouldn’t even understand. Sieg heil! …I mean, thanks for reading!”

Disclaimer: We have a pass to write this because we’re both undiagnosed neurodivergent shoe-ins. Love Warhammer, hate eye contact.