FEATURE ARTICLES

Gumf Magazine Movie Wins Big At Oscars
Award season comes to a rapturous end for the Gumf Gang.

Musk: If We Don’t Destroy Earth, We’ll Never Reach Mars
America’s ‘Mr Charisma’ has made it clear humanity won’t get to die in disgusting new ways without reaching the red planet.

Mangione: I Actually Wanted to Shoot a CeX
Shock testimony from the suspected murderer of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO sends the case into disarray.

My Plan for Peace with Zombie King, by Keir Rondey Starmer
Sir Rondey is back with his latest verdict on the undead demagogue from Zombosia

Gumf and ALL of its Readers are Endorsing Dognald Trump
We will no longer be quiet in our support for Dognald and you won’t be either.

HOLD ON WHAT THE HELL…WHY IS TRUMP BACK??????????
NO WAIT SHUT UP A MINUTE HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?

We Did Not Authorise The Gumf Porn Parody
Despite the impression nature of the film, we were not responsible for it.

The Five Worst Woke Things by Tony The Tiler
Cereal mascot by day, painter-decorator by other days, Tony the Tiler tells all on exactly what’s wrong with the ‘woke’ movement.

Trump: I need the kind of generals Hitler had. Ones that try to kill me with an exploding briefcase.
Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it, and because I'm a big dumbass I am doomed to repeat it.

Taylor Swift Ends Eras Tour to Run Lithium Mine
Swift announced she would be ending her globetrotting ‘Eras Tour’ to “Step away from music and focus on my lithium mining projects.”

Gallaghers Lost At Sea After Co-Op Arena Sinks During Maiden Voyage
“Birds and R-Kids first, d’ya know what I mean?” shouted the heroic Britpop rockers, whilst organising an evacuation of the arena’s aft boat deck. Survivors’ testimonies state that the band continued to play throughout the sinking, in order to maintain an atmosphere of stoic calm. Reports tell of a heartfelt rendition of Digsy’s Dinner providing the moving soundtrack to the vessel’s final moments.


Civic-Minded Terrorists Unveil UK’s First Ever Muslim No-Go Zone
After the civic-minded, shit-for-brains halfwits of Great Britain established the country’s first ever ‘No-Go Zones this weekend, we went along to ask them: what the fuck is this all about?

My Plan for Fighting Zombie King, by Keir Rondey Starmer
Keir Rondey Starmer tells all on his plans to thwart the zombie invasion


Gumf Chief, Raniel O'Day, to Star in I'm A Celeb
Gumf’s fearless and fear inspiring leader is headed down under!

Royal Cock Up! Nation Accidentally Corrugates King
We said, ‘coronation’ you dafties! Now he looks like a crinkle cut chip!

Queen's Second Husband, Paddington Bear, Found Dead
Prince Paddington Bear, Duke of Islington is dead.

Beggars Can't Be Choosers: Lee Cooper Is Our New Sponsor
Things go from bad to worse for Gumf when even Typhoo won’t sponsor them, but unfortunately Lee Cooper will.
