FEATURE ARTICLES

Pope Francis Regenerates Into Danny Dyer Like Doctor Who
Just like all good Popes do, Francis has been reborn through a shoddy looking CGI regeneration.


Connor Fenton Wears Jeans At Home Until Bedtime
Gumf’s co-founder is embroiled in fresh controversy after being seen in Levis at home after 6pm.

My Band ‘The Reytons’ Are Poet Laureate Now
Rotheram’s finest ‘The Reytons’ have been awarded the highest honour in the written arts by King Chuck III


Katie Price Announces ‘Air Jordan’ Brand
The GOAT has a new name and it’s Katie ‘Jordan’ Price.

President Trump Signs Minerals Deal With Heel Cena
It’s what’s best for business. That’s what President Trump seems to have been thinking when he shocked the world this Saturday, by cutting a minerals deal with WWE’s newly-heel John Cena.

Stoke's Best Restaurants by Ian Minger
Gumf’s newest (and ugliest) hire rates Stoke’s best grub!

Gumf Magazine Movie Wins Big At Oscars
Award season comes to a rapturous end for the Gumf Gang.

Musk: If We Don’t Destroy Earth, We’ll Never Reach Mars
America’s ‘Mr Charisma’ has made it clear humanity won’t get to die in disgusting new ways without reaching the red planet.

Mangione: I Actually Wanted to Shoot a CeX
Shock testimony from the suspected murderer of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO sends the case into disarray.

My Plan for Peace with Zombie King, by Keir Rondey Starmer
Sir Rondey is back with his latest verdict on the undead demagogue from Zombosia

Gumf and ALL of its Readers are Endorsing Dognald Trump
We will no longer be quiet in our support for Dognald and you won’t be either.

HOLD ON WHAT THE HELL…WHY IS TRUMP BACK??????????
NO WAIT SHUT UP A MINUTE HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?

We Did Not Authorise The Gumf Porn Parody
Despite the impressive nature of the film, we were not responsible for it.

The Five Worst Woke Things by Tony The Tiler
Cereal mascot by day, painter-decorator by other days, Tony the Tiler tells all on exactly what’s wrong with the ‘woke’ movement.

Trump: I need the kind of generals Hitler had. Ones that try to kill me with an exploding briefcase.
Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it, and because I'm a big dumbass I am doomed to repeat it.

Taylor Swift Ends Eras Tour to Run Lithium Mine
Swift announced she would be ending her globetrotting ‘Eras Tour’ to “Step away from music and focus on my lithium mining projects.”

Gallaghers Lost At Sea After Co-Op Arena Sinks During Maiden Voyage
“Birds and R-Kids first, d’ya know what I mean?” shouted the heroic Britpop rockers, whilst organising an evacuation of the arena’s aft boat deck. Survivors’ testimonies state that the band continued to play throughout the sinking, in order to maintain an atmosphere of stoic calm. Reports tell of a heartfelt rendition of Digsy’s Dinner providing the moving soundtrack to the vessel’s final moments.
