FEATURE ARTICLES
Zelensky Removes All Mention Of Minerals From Chocolate Eggs
We can confirm that Russians will still be able to kiss the Minerals.
Friend Who Went On Gap Year To Scooby Doo Land Obnoxiously Putting ‘R’s In Front Of Some Words
I just really radmire their culture. Did you know that it's celebrated to be a rassive scaredy cat over there?
El Salvador Mega Hotel Flops On Tripadvisor
Trumps ‘Forced Vacation’ program is seeing resistance.
Introducing Gumf AI
Hello Connor. I’m a large language model that can’t have a favourite Gumf article but I’m happy to discuss your invigorating favourites?
You're Fucked: Trump Imposes 35% Tariffs on Being a Prick
POTUS has struck at the prick-deficit that the US has struggled with for decades. YOU are affected.
Pope Francis Regenerates Into Danny Dyer Like Doctor Who
Just like all good Popes do, Francis has been reborn through a shoddy looking CGI regeneration.
Connor Fenton Wears Jeans At Home Until Bedtime
Gumf’s co-founder is embroiled in fresh controversy after being seen in Levis at home after 6pm.
My Band ‘The Reytons’ Are Poet Laureate Now
Rotheram’s finest ‘The Reytons’ have been awarded the highest honour in the written arts by King Chuck III
Katie Price Announces ‘Air Jordan’ Brand
The GOAT has a new name and it’s Katie ‘Jordan’ Price.
President Trump Signs Minerals Deal With Heel Cena
It’s what’s best for business. That’s what President Trump seems to have been thinking when he shocked the world this Saturday, by cutting a minerals deal with WWE’s newly-heel John Cena.
Stoke's Best Restaurants by Ian Minger
Gumf’s newest (and ugliest) hire rates Stoke’s best grub!
Gumf Magazine Movie Wins Big At Oscars
Award season comes to a rapturous end for the Gumf Gang.
Musk: If We Don’t Destroy Earth, We’ll Never Reach Mars
America’s ‘Mr Charisma’ has made it clear humanity won’t get to die in disgusting new ways without reaching the red planet.
Mangione: I Actually Wanted to Shoot a CeX
Shock testimony from the suspected murderer of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO sends the case into disarray.
My Plan for Peace with Zombie King, by Keir Rondey Starmer
Sir Rondey is back with his latest verdict on the undead demagogue from Zombosia
Gumf and ALL of its Readers are Endorsing Dognald Trump
We will no longer be quiet in our support for Dognald and you won’t be either.
HOLD ON WHAT THE HELL…WHY IS TRUMP BACK??????????
NO WAIT SHUT UP A MINUTE HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?