“Birds and R-Kids first, d’ya know what I mean?” shouted the heroic Britpop rockers, whilst organising an evacuation of the arena’s aft boat deck. Survivors’ testimonies state that the band continued to play throughout the sinking, in order to maintain an atmosphere of stoic calm. Reports tell of a heartfelt rendition of Digsy’s Dinner providing the moving soundtrack to the vessel’s final moments.

After the civic-minded, shit-for-brains halfwits of Great Britain established the country’s first ever ‘No-Go Zones this weekend, we went along to ask them: what the fuck is this all about?

Parody: Keir Rondey Starmer tells all on his plans to thwart the zombie invasion

Gumf’s fearless and fear inspiring leader is headed down under!

We said, ‘coronation’ you dafties! Now he looks like a crinkle cut chip!

Prince Paddington Bear, Duke of Islington is dead.

Things go from bad to worse for Gumf when even Typhoo won’t sponsor them, but unfortunately Lee Cooper will.

Nationally celebrated Gumf Day is brought to an abrupt end this year due to bomb threats from Ian Hislop’s ‘Private Eye’ magazine.

Often in life we forget to take stock of the things we know to be true.

Too little, too late?

Longstanding musical renegade, The Crazy Frog, has been submitted to a psychiatric intensive care unit.

Britain's best loved holiday, Flying Ant Day, gets another kicking from the corporate do-gooders.

Even though he’s only been dead for a matter of hours, His Royal Highness, the Duke of Edinburgh has already royally peeved the son of The Almighty.

A masterclass in the devious art of Search Engine Optimisation in which you trick people into reading your garbage.

Gumf makes a fascinating discovery about the Farage-Bieber family.

With a new ‘Free Speech Champion’ soon to be appointed, freedom of speech is set to be more regulated, and thus more free than ever