FEATURE ARTICLES
Civic-Minded Terrorists Unveil UK’s First Ever Muslim No-Go Zone
After the civic-minded, shit-for-brains halfwits of Great Britain established the country’s first ever ‘No-Go Zones this weekend, we went along to ask them: what the fuck is this all about?
My Plan for Fighting Zombie King, by Keir Rondey Starmer
Keir Rondey Starmer tells all on his plans to thwart the zombie invasion
Gumf Chief, Raniel O'Day, to Star in I'm A Celeb
Gumf’s fearless and fear inspiring leader is headed down under!
Royal Cock Up! Nation Accidentally Corrugates King
We said, ‘coronation’ you dafties! Now he looks like a crinkle cut chip!
Queen's Second Husband, Paddington Bear, Found Dead
Prince Paddington Bear, Duke of Islington is dead.
Beggars Can't Be Choosers: Lee Cooper Is Our New Sponsor
Things go from bad to worse for Gumf when even Typhoo won’t sponsor them, but unfortunately Lee Cooper will.
National Gumf Day Celebrations Cut Short by Bomb Threats
Nationally celebrated Gumf Day is brought to an abrupt end this year due to bomb threats from Ian Hislop’s ‘Private Eye’ magazine.
‘Boris Johnson Said Something Bad’ and 3 Other Platitudes
Often in life we forget to take stock of the things we know to be true.
Crazy Frog Sectioned
Longstanding musical renegade, The Crazy Frog, has been submitted to a psychiatric intensive care unit.
Cadbury Removes All Mention Of Flying Ant Day From its Chocolate Eggs
Britain's best loved holiday, Flying Ant Day, gets another kicking from the corporate do-gooders.
Middle Eastern Jesus Refuses Prince Philip Entry to Heaven
Even though he’s only been dead for a matter of hours, His Royal Highness, the Duke of Edinburgh has already royally peeved the son of The Almighty.
To Trick Google We Called This Article ‘Lionel Messi PS5 Love Island’
A masterclass in the devious art of Search Engine Optimisation in which you trick people into reading your garbage.
BREAKING: Turns out, Nigel Farage is Justin Bieber’s Dad
Gumf makes a fascinating discovery about the Farage-Bieber family.
Free Speech Saved
With a new ‘Free Speech Champion’ soon to be appointed, freedom of speech is set to be more regulated, and thus more free than ever
BERKS and Nutters: Exposed
Parody: Leader of the Opposition and MP for Holborn and St Pancras, Keir Rondey Starmer lists the biggest wazzocks and tossers throughout history.
Religion, Politics & Love: A Revolutionary Music Theory
The study of modern music is about to have its socks knocked clean off with this brand new development from Connor Fenton